Saturday, June 7, 2014

Biz Tip: Five Lies That Could Be Ruining Your Career (and your Life)

The top five lies I hear from the professionals.  by Theresa Sullivan
Go something like:
1) I haven’t found my passion / I don’t have a passion. Is that true? You cannot think of one thing that you love doing or being? Is there something you do better than most other people you know? If you had a free day all to yourself to do whatever you wanted in the world, could you think of something you might gravitate toward?
Change the story: Instead of "I haven't found my passion", replace with "There are many things I love doing".
2) I can’t afford to leave the job I don’t like. Really? The only way on this earth that you have to earn money is the job you are in right now? Is there nothing you're able to cut out of your current budget that would allow you to be more free? Can your body, your relationships, your long-term career aspirations afford for you to stay in the job you don't like?
Change the story: Instead of "I can't afford to leave the job I don't like", replace with "I can't afford to stay in a job I don't like."
3) It’s too late to change direction now. Is that really true? How many years of life do you think you have left? Now multiply that by 8,765, which is the number of hours in each year. Is that really too little time for you to change direction? Malcolm Gladwell's book, "Outliers", tells us you can be great at what you do with some ability and 10,000 hours of practice. Never put off a goal because it will take too long -- the time will pass anyway. Might as well spend it working toward a goal that makes life fun.
Change the story: Instead of "It's too late...", replace with "If I start today, the journey of 1,000 miles starts with the first step."
4) Pursuing my own happiness is selfish. I have a family to think about.Seriously? There is a reason that the flight attendants tell you in case of a sudden loss of pressure in the cabin to put your oxygen mask on before helping others. How helpful are you to your family and friends when you're gone, depleted, sick, resentful, or angry because you haven't taken care of yourself? (Hint: you aren't) How would your household be different if you were busy pursuing a life that serves you and honors who you are and what you have to give?
Change the story: Instead of "pursuing my dreams is selfish", replace with "showing my children what living a fulfilled life looks like is the best way to enrich theirs."
5) I hate my job now, but I will be happy as soon as I [get the promotion/finish the project/collect my bonus/get my degree]. Are you sure? This one thing is all that is holding you back from happiness and liking your job? How long do you think you'll stop hating your job after you accomplish this magical goal that will make you happy? Happiness experts tell us it's pretty temporary. I like The Dave Matthews Band take on this - "the future is no place to place your better days". Happiness is a choice that you make. It isn't a magical feeling that is bestowed upon us from some outside force.
Change the story: Instead of "I'll be happy when....", replace with "I could be happy now."
We all have our stories. And if you're wondering why your life isn't turning out the way you planned, know that its only a story you tell yourself. It isn't the Truth. Question your narrative about your situation and give yourself permission to believe in something better. It is the quickest and most effective way to change your life.

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