Life is full of tough decisions, and nothing makes them easy. But the worst ones are really your personal koans, and tormenting ambivalence is just the sense of satori rising.
Try, trust, try, and trust again, and eventually you’ll feel your mind change its focus to a new level of understanding.
The problem that was tearing you apart will suddenly appear as a little puzzle, already solved. It will make you nod, or smack your forehead, or roll your eyes.
It will make you laugh right out loud.